It Wasn't Me: Yemen's Conspiracy Theories (1/2)

Part 1 of 2

As Arabs, we love conspiracy theories. Everything is far more exciting if there is a mysterious plot to unravel. Not to mention, it's easier to abandon all responsibilities if it there a “scheme” in place and a "mastermind" behind it. In Yemen's conspiracy theories, we are the victims, the injured party, the biggest loser, and the subject of all interest. Despite being inherently realists, we exhibit bursts of borderline personality and a hint of narcissistic tendencies. When it comes to conspiracy narratives, some are outright outrageous, others are meticulously constructed (and over time become self-fulling prophecies), and only a handful are fathomable explanations.

This blog post lists some of the “conspiracy theories” circulating in Yemen. It has no interest in debunking them nor in unraveling the truth that lies behind them.

• About a year ago, right after the NASA Rover landed on Mars, Yemeni media outlets published one of the most dangerous theories yet. Our (Yemeni) high-tech investigative techniques revealed that NASA was hiding a big secret from us. We were told that NASA had physical proof, for years, that Lailat al Qadar exists and they shamelessly hid it from us. Apparently NASA, a US agency responsible for aerospace research invested a load of their time and money to trackback this day with technology as advanced as the space Rovers. The biggest shock was that the article assumed that Yemenis needed NASA to prove it...   

Lailat al Qadr, literally translates to Night of Destiny, and is the night that the first verses of the Quran were revealed to the prophet Muhammed when he encountered the angel Jibreel (Gabriel). Traditionally, it is believed to be on one of the last nights of Ramadan and there is no specific date for it.

• Israel, one of the most notorious countries in the Middle East, is always the subject of several conspiracy theories. Overtime, it became very convenient to blame anything on them. Once the Arab Spring started, former President Saleh gave a statement that attributed the Arab Spring to a vague Israeli/American blueprint to destroy the Middle East. While many Yemenis are innately susceptible to these kind of theories, unfortunately for Saleh, it was just too little too late!  
• Accompanying Saleh’s long shot, an article surfaced that Israel finally devised a weapon more catastrophic than any nuclear bomb. They finally succeeded in creating a special gas that can be inserted into a bomb. The secret is once the bomb is dropped in any part of the world, the gas only kills Muslims. (not to mention the Israeli belts distributed all over Yemen to make our men infertile)

• Speaking about gas, fellow tweeter Ibrahim Muthana once wrote that a taxi driver tried to explain his lethargy. The taxi driver revealed that the US has been actively spraying Yemenis with a secret gas to keep us tired and unproductive... (Qat and malnutrition didn't come to mind..)

• While Yemen witnessed (and continues to witness) several campaigns against women, one of the most important issues that Yemenis continue to worry about is the term “gender”.  Most Yemenis (men and women) continue to misuse the term and substitute it for “equality”. Regardless of this lack of understanding, a university dropout warned us about the dangers of “gender”. If “gender” succeeds in being a component of the National Dialogue, then it will only legalize homosexuality and adultery. At first, it is easy to dismiss such ramblings; but after serious pondering, you begin to see the light. Why? Of course! Enhancing Women’s access to education is about enlightenment... and enlightenment makes us think of the Italian Renaissance... and the renaissance is about rebirth...rebirth coincided with secularism...Therefore, if women are educated then it must mean that Yemenis will abandon their faith . Just think about it! all these literate women... reading about adultery...how gay!

• Just when you think that most conspiracy theories are generated by fundamentalists, I have to end this streak with another Arab Spring Theory. It is not a secret that the protests in Tunisia inspired the rest of the Middle East nor is it a secret that for at least a decade most Arabs living under repressive/authoritarian regimes preferred Islamist parties over other political parties for their political organization and service delivery. When the structured Islamist parties began winning votes across the Arab world, and most notably when the Muslim Brotherhood (MB) won the elections in Egypt, it became apparent to liberals everywhere that the Arab Spring is an Islamist ploy to secure power. The truth is; Islamists got bored of waiting for their turn to rule. For months, even years, men from all over the Arab World gathered (perhaps in London?) to plan a revolt that would lead to the world domination. The protests in Turkey may appear contradictory to this theory, but rest assured, it is part of a bigger plan...

• Yemen witnesses blackouts on a daily basis. Once in a blue moon, the electricity stays on. Rather than enjoying the 260 year old technology, we worry about the consequences of this abrupt reward. While electricity blackouts are not a laughing matter, many Yemenis feel better blaming such misfortune on 'Afash. Yes, it is all the fault of Ali Abdullah Saleh. Even the tribes and AQAP agree. It's all him. He always left Yemenis in the dark, literally.

• The radical branch of the Southern secessionists in Yemen blamed the downfall of YSP on a few Northern individuals in 1986. While these radical thinkers refuse to join the National Dialogue, the Northerners are worried about something far worse: Payback. 

President Hadi is from Abyan (South of Yemen) and the Majority of his government and Military appointments were for fellow Southerners. Unfortunately, a southern majority government didn't contain Hirak but it sure worried Northerners. They believe that - and Journalist Adam Baron describes it - president Hadi is a "closet separatist". Yemen is in a mess right now and just when everything gets worse (hard to imagine), president Hadi and his government will smoothly transition to rule the South. The Southerners would enjoy heaven (Aden) and the Northerners will be abandoned without any leadership or resources.

End of Part 1, more in Part 2

A Job First

Photo via Oxfam

If you are a Yemeni women living in Sana'a or Aden, by the time you finish high school, half of your female classmates are married or have plans to marry. If you are a Yemeni women from a rural area, then the odds are you are not going to school. The poorer your family is and the more siblings you have, the more likely that you will be one of those girls that has a child by the age of 13. The girls that make it into university are fortunate, but many are preoccupied searching for a husband, not necessarily because they want one but rather because they want to fit the societal expectation. I read an article once that stated that girls who are not married by the age of 27 are considered spinsters in Yemen (and I think they were being generous). Some countries in the region such as Saudi Arabia, Egypt and the UAE are launching campaigns against spinsterhood, such as "Say Yes to Marriage". In Yemen, there is no need for such campaign because by the age of 21, odds are a girl is married and with a couple children. 

While Yemeni society continues to obsess about marriage, the country continues its downward economic spiral. A recent report concluded that early marriage is a huge obstacle in the path of development. A political sociology professor at Sana'a University, Dr. Abdulbaqi Shamsan, recently told Yemen Times that Yemen's demographics are changing; 70% of the population is young and about 50% of it is female. When women marry young, they retire to their homes  leaving the country depleted from a much needed workforce. Moreover, these young brides are increasing the country's poverty rates (more than 50% already below poverty line) and often suffer from illnesses and malnutrition .  Reem Al-Najar, director of The Marriage and Safe Pregnancy Project in the Yemen's Women Union (YWU), shared with the newspaper that YWU will be launching a campaign to educate the public about the harms of child marriages. 

Unfortunately, awareness campaigns can only take you so far. What Yemeni women need are opportunities. The economic outlook for the upcoming period is extremely bleak. Many men will have to accept the idea of their wives working if it means that their quality of life would improve. With high unemployment rates, it is hard for uneducated women to compete with men in the market, especially since most of the female working force is not paid. The transitional government will provide more economic opportunities for the population especially if the port of Aden is revived.  Perhaps the next campaign should say "Work First, Marry later". Women need to know about their rights as workers and must demand equal pay for the work they do. To those ladies who are looking for a husband, who knows perhaps a husband will find you because economically, as a couple, you are a lot more likely to live better.

Should Yemeni Women Govern the Transitional Period?

I stumbled upon this op-ed by Abdullah Mahwari and I needed to share it. For the Arabic version, click here.  For a loose translation of the article, look below.  

Leave the Power to Women

By Abdullah Mahwari 

Monday, August 6, 2012 

All political sheikhs, party sheikhs and fatawa sheikhs must leave the political arena and take an open ended vacation and a comprehensive period for recovery and  self-reflection, away from the spotlight. They should leave the political arena to the Yemeni woman, the granddaughter of Queen Bilqis and Arwa,  and let her take charge on all fronts, for the interim period only. This is in order to allow male politicians (of all parties mentioned above) to arrange their papers, organize their files and hone their brave men for the upcoming elections.

Give women this critical transitional period because you, gentlemen, are not good at it at all. "May God bless a man who knows his limitations", believe me you will never regret this. For once in your lifetime confess that you are "futile with excellence" in crisis management and that you are not capable of this responsibility at the present time.

Admission of guilt is a virtue. We, the men, on the land of Bilqis (May she rest in peace) are unfit to rule. This is the truth that is obvious for everyone to see and it does not require intelligence to realize. Withdraw from political life! all of you with beards, guns and empty minds and leave the political ring for those who deserves it.  You who are futile with excellence, history will write that you are the worst rulers of Yemen over all the previous centuries. The Yemeni politician, and I mean the man, is money oriented who does not serve the country but rather his benefactor.  He is also selfish and lacks nationalism. We want a Yemeni woman to govern us; we want originality, sincerity, loyalty and honor  to lead us.  We want our leader, our teacher and our  symbol of pride among the nations to be a woman.

O men, disappear from the political scene and get out of the ministries and the parliament. Do independent work and form associations where you can trade lies and hypocrisy out of the political arena. Sell each other outside the country, and feed on each other outside of our homes and in private rather than on our audio-visual media. Do not ruin our children as you are not fit to be anyone's role model. Do not spoil our tastes with your ruddiness. We are done with your boring appearances, your yelling, your wars and your display of power on each other. We are fed up with your  meekness, your clock and dagger activities, you lack of chivalry, and your betrayal. You who are futile with excellence, disappear from our view.  

There are two ways to read this article; either this man appreciates the efforts of women, or he is attempting to insult men by telling them that women can do it better. I do not know the background of Abdullah Mahwari, so I cannot tell you where he stands. For those who choose to believe that he is flattering women, then this man is excellent in the politics of flattery. Most women, especially those who are actively involved in Yemeni politics, will feel honored by his words. I feel sincerity in Abdullah's frustrations with the Yemeni politicians, but I can not get over this line: "[men] should leave the political arena to the Yemeni woman and let her take charge on all fronts, for the interim period only". So, consider this a freudian slip. 

If you are one of those who consider his article a sarcastic stab at the guts of men, then he is making fun of women too. 

When the Yemeni revolution first took off, women took to the streets with men. They slept in tents, shouted the same slogans and protested the same nuisances as men. It was a period of uncertainty. While I watched from abroad, I could not predict what was to come. My biggest fear was that all of these women, who exerted a lot of time and effort for the sake of democracy, will be confronted by the same realities that the Egyptian women are facing now (not a single woman was appointed as a minister). I was exceptionally delighted when three women were chosen as ministers and many others were appointed on various advisory committees. My anxiety for women decreased and I worried about other things; effectively increasing women's participation in the parliament, education and the labor force. Although Abdullah Mahwari's article is dubious, I can't help but wonder if women are only doing the heavy lifting temporarily. So wise up women! and make sure that whatever you do in the following two years will carry into the future.